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  1. I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there.<\/li>\n
  2. Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep? Because of his coffin.<\/li>\n
  3. Conjunctivitis.com \u2013 that\u2019s a site for sore eyes<\/li>\n
  4. So this lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster.<\/li>\n
  5. What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish.<\/li>\n
  6. I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, “How flexible are you?” I said, “I can’t make Tuesdays.”<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there. Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep? Because of his coffin. Conjunctivitis.com \u2013 that\u2019s a site for sore eyes So this lorry full of tortoises collided with a van full of terrapins. It was a turtle disaster. What time does Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon? Tennish. I phoned the local gym and I…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p3XvH7-x","_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/wildtide.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/wildtide.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/wildtide.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wildtide.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wildtide.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"http:\/\/wildtide.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/wildtide.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wildtide.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wildtide.co.uk\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}